Just a Random thought

Online dating doesn't work out all the time. Wouldn't the process of looking for the match turn better when people forget this online dating? And after the two had fallen for each other comes the next stage called 'Sustaining the relationship'. People mumble to themselves, "Ah! Those two are in relationship. How nice they look together! Awe!". Certain relationships are mere bond where they set up their own terms and conditions and most often they seldom last. True love emerges calm and lasts forever. Perhaps, the unsuccessful ones are those 'Bonds'. So, get out, meet new people and remember the people you already love and knew. 

Heart

Have u ever loved any body so much that it made u cry?
Waited for their msgs and ended up crying being despaired?
Waited for days to see them once and at the end they refused to meet u?
Ever loved anyone so much that everything they do effects u?
Every little move of theirs makes u happy, makes u sad..?
If u have ever loved them that much.. Then u must have cried..
And they must have never cared..
Isn't it..?? 💔💔💔

STORY

This guy always dreamt about getting married to the person whom he loves the most and accepts him the way he is !!!!

Finally the day came where he found his life partner and decided a date to get married !!!

He was so excited to get dressed in Indian traditional Wear and to start a new life with the person he loves.

Marriage to him is not that grand wedding ceremony , not that costly affairs, not to make his family happy , it's exchanging those vows and promising commitment for the rest of the life

Finally the day arrived and everything went fine and he got married to that person whom he loved the most and his dream of being a groom became a reality

All his friends and family were happy seeing him happy and at that time he closed his eyes to thank god and opened it again and realised it's still a dream !!!!!

PS : This groom doesn't have a bride but another groom :)

LETTER TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND

Dear future husband,

I'm sure one day you'll meet me and make me feel the luckiest guy in the world

I pray for you everyday , pray for our love and I thank God that he is taking this time to work on us.

I pray to god to help you to be all what I will ever need , so that we can have this awesome marriage and be the example for the world

I pray for wisdom, joy and maturity for myself so I can be ready for you when you appear

Because when I find you , I'll find love

Lots of love
Your future husband
(Awesome single)

Dear Future Husband

Dear future husband

Here's few things which you need to know to be mine ;)

Don't think I'll cook for you because I never learnt cooking , but I can learn it for you

Don't think I shout on you everytime just understand that I'll do it only with love

Don't think I'm always horny because I touch you always it's just that I like to hold you always

Don't think I'm unhappy when I don't talk anything sometimes I just look at you and feel how lucky I'm to have you

You got to know how to treat me when I act crazy and tell me everything is alright ;)

YOU BELONG WITH ME - TAYLOR SWIFT - MY VERSION

You're on the phone with your boyfriend

he's upset

He's going off about something that you said

'Cause he doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in my room

It's a typical Sunday night

I'm listening to the kind of music he doesn't like

And he'll never know your story like I do'

But he wears black n white

I wear pink

he's closeted And I'm in the pride marches

Dreaming about the day when you wake up

And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you can see I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see

You belong with me

You belong with me

My eyes became an ocean...Waves of memories are hitting the shores and droping down from eyes like tears..
Every passing minute is wounding..
every wound has become a goal and these goals have become milestones of my love..

"I was impressed by your first word to me

then, I walked in your way

I saw your love in every step I took

And I lived in that love!!!!!!"

Realization

I realized everything he said was true 

In fact I understood I should change myself not for anyone but for me 

I decided to move out from my parents.

I wanted to grow as a person and I want to be a better human being.

I decided to shift to Bangalore.

I searched for Jobs here and came here with a lot of hopes.

Its been 1.5 years now in Bangalore , I'm a better person now.

I'm more matured now. Independent and I stay all alone.

I maintain my own house , I cook for myself.

I got in to my dream Job, working towards to have a bright fuutre.

I beleive that this all happened for good.

If i was still in Hyderabad I would have just been that lazy couch potato without any aspirations.

I thank him for leaving me and made me realize that I should change 

Reasons for My Breakup

I was very happy seeing a text from him after the E-mail.

He gave me the reason why he is breaking up with me.

the reasons are

• I'm very immature
• I'm very emotional
• I'm feminine
• I cannot do anything by myself
• I cannot make him happy
• I don't put any effort to relationship
• I'm very irresponsible.

he listed out all this things and told he can't be with me.

He told he was not happy at least one day and I didn't want  to force him either.

its been 1.5 years now He never turned back and I never waited for him too.#

My Letter

Hello My husband,

I know you don't like to read lengthy messages or anything but I'm sorry it's gonna be very lengthy but I want you to read this when ever u are free.

It's very sad to hear from a guy who said I made his life beautiful to listen that he lost his  smile because of me.

I'm becoming mad here, the words you said to me made my life upside down. I'm so sad ki I couldn't make you happy atleast for a day. When I'm in hyderabad I tried to make everything perfect and as I don't know to cook I asked v to bring food while coming and I asked  If you like pastries when you're in nagpur itself then I asked them to bring them. I asked my mum to make dosa for me n i bought them too.

I didn't take you any where in hyderabad because it was hot and I don't want you to suffer as you will only stay in AC and it will be problem for you.I took to u thr one evening and I don't know whether you liked it or not I'm very sorry tab bhi I took you to the place I liked but without knowing your taste. These are the little things I made in hyderabad for u.  Most of them were made by my frds and I'm blessed to have them

Next I came home today afternoon and I thought mai itna ganda insaan hu ki mai jo banda mere liye exams and kaam chodke hyderabad tak aaya unse bhi shikayat kiya per sach baat e hai ki mera jo kiya hua things are not complaints or something

I closed my eyes today after coming to home and reminded every little thing what I did and I'm writing you this mail.

This is not to cover up or not but exactly what happened

1. Me forgetting things at home :

                 i was so excited to come to meet you ki I was dreaming only to meet you and I Neva thought those things were very important for Me. Maine sab kuch ek bag me leke rakha last minute me my dad was all in hurry and I forgot that bag of mine.  This is my irresponsible behavior no :1

2. Me missing bus stop :

             I only heard station station waha pe and maine conductor ka suna nahi 

3.slapping you :

         It was never a slap according to me and I'm really sorry. When I was standing thr you came back se ek jat ke se you tried to hug me mujhe Dar laga and I didn't even notice ki I slapped you.

I respect more than myself how will slap my life??? Per I did I'm sorry this is my insensible behavior

4. My jeans :

             I Neva wanted to show my underwear to anyone mai Theek karta hua if it is loose bhi mai short pehenke bahar bhi nahi jaata hu.

I didn't intend to show it to anyone and us hotel pe bhi I sat properly so that it is not visible it is my insensible behavior

Please know this ki I'm also a decent one not really a cheap guy. I've my own morals in life

5. About hotel room :

        Firstly I asked you to book a hotel room with AC  because It will be difficult for you aswell waha pe I didn't look only for me.

I asked to change bed sheet because you get allergy soon as you said me so it's very unhygienic so I asked   him to change
      
     I asked you about washroom it's not a taunt baby I don't know mera expression ganda tha. And don't forget this I said I liked the room.

This is my insensible behavior

6. S:

   Jab s aaya I didn't tell I got bored in the room when he asked kya dekha I told ki we went to eat food n all bhi and he said am I unwell????

ya I was thoda sa unwell but that was not important to me and aapko bekar me pareshan hojata isliye I didn't tell you

Chaar dewar dekhke bore hogaya nahi bola mai I told chaar dewar dekhke sleepy sleepy n lazy hai bola

It Was not a taunt and this is my laziness and insensible behavior

7. Road trip

     Well baby I asked you we will cancel road trip and go the next day??? 

It's because you're also having some works at home and I'm also not so well, so I asked this.

You said no we have some other plans next day and I don't want to break ur plans

I was little uneasy since mrg but not unhappy

You know what all I did that day I was just upset ki you're giving nilay more importance than me

I was really happy and I said I liked that lake where we went

And I just said food was spicy and I was not complaining just telling it's taste and bahut Garmi hai na mujhe generally itna bhi Garmi hai to bhi I'll not sweat but us din hua I just said it was hot that was not a complaint

I just wanted to tell how I was feeling it's not complaining

I'm very sorry for that day and I know it's was the saturation point for your tolerance towards my behavior

When we went to meet  varun and went to temple I said it was nice thr and also Buddha temple bhi I said it was nice

When you showed my picture thr and said you miss that swaroop I thought ab se I should be that swaroop whom you love so much

And when we are going you spanked me and asked nilay  to spank me

I really didn't like it.
Saurabh never touched you on ur butt or cock right??? 

Then how could you allow him to do that

Phir se I couldn't get to normal that's what happened that day.

And my face expression are like that only subodh I don't know ki they have hurt you a lot but again it was never an intention to hurt u

This is my irresponsible and insensible behavior

8. Car door :

          When I opened the car door I suddenly got shocked I saw nilay and my senses were out and Im thinking how could I make u normal and mere dhyaan se gaya and this is the stupidest thing I've done and thank god you've seen that.

I can't do anything then If something would have happened and I'm sorry

This is my irresponsible behavior

E Pura hone ke baad se I tried so much to try to make you happy and I realised maine Kitna bade bade galti kiya

I prayed god ki you should be happy and normal but I couldn't make u happy being there for one more day it just pissed u off more

Last one my wallet

I never carry my wallet in my pants because I'm scared of loosing it and I always carry in hand or my bag when we checked out hotel I payed money and I was holding my wallet in hand and iske baad I kept on dashboard and I thought ki I'll take while getting my luggage and my luggage was taken my mo wood mera dhyaan Chala gaya

Maine sab galti kiya per kuch Aur reason tha karne me. Thodi din Hi karab hota hai those were one of my bad days

Tumhne mujhe bahut chances diya and I know how difficult will it be for you to trust me and give another chance.  I'll not ask for a chance because I'm so ashamed of all I've done but baby I was happy just seeing you.

I will be responsible from now on

Don't think about anything baby. If you still love me and want to have life with me I'll be happiest person

You said k that you Neva thought of breakup and wo sunke mai Bahut khush hua

Per kal aapne jo bola mujhe ab tak yaad hai ki you can never think about us as u used to think before 

Whatever decision you take I'm ready to do

But I can never forget you and can allow anyone to touch me atleast. If I will not be able to see you my entire life also I have got good memories I feel your touch, your videos, your pics are enough to me because a guy who came all along from so long without knowing me cannot be wrong :-)

I'll definitely look forward to see u again and make u happy atleast for a minute so that I don't die with regret that I couldn't make my husband happy atleast for a minute

You're my husband and you'll be forever

I love you so much

Yours and only yours,
Swaroop.

My Love Story

It was March 10th 2015 8 PM

I got a Friend request from a Hottie

Next minute I got a message "Oh my good lord you're the reason for Global warming"

I felt it so funny and was on cloud 9 getting such compliment from an eligible bachelor.

we started talking and clicked instantly , we thought we would make a great pair.

we spoke whole night and i thought this conversation will be ending but it continued the next day and he proposed me the very next day

we both know that we are far away from each other but we thought we can make it work.

Both of us wanted to give love another chance.

He booked tickets to Hyderabad and came to meet me in a week.

I promised to myself whatever happens i will not leave him .

I loved him the most and I still love him.

everything was fine when he came to Hyderabad , he loved everything in me except my singing.

I thought I was settled in my life until I went to Nagpur , Everything changed.

No I ruined everything !!!!!!!!!1

Friends For Life

I completed my graduation with flying colors .

Got placed in a very good company.

I've never came out to my classmates about my sexuality except one girl.

I met these amazing souls at my workplace where I could be myself.

When they started accepting me it boosted my confidence.

I realised that we need to have good friends rather than Boy friend.

I've met few more awesome souls in my next company aswell and everyone loved me the way I am and They all treated me like a small baby (They still do")

I can't thank god enough for giivng me awesome friends and great Family who all trying everything to understand my world....

My Psycho Boy Friend

Well when I was Doing my graduation , I met this guy.

He was all good to me initially.

I thought he is a right guy for me and started dating.

I had got very bad friends at that time who spread a lot of rumors on me.

|This guy I was dating had no trust on me and used to believe whatever they say.

It started with scolding me and it never took so long to get physical.

He used to abuse me in front of everyone, He used to beat me and I couldn't bear it anymore.

I wanted to stop all this and tried to breakup with him but he didn't leave me.

He used to follow me to my college and wait outside my house until I come out.

Finally got rid of him when my father came in to the picture and he warned him not to come near my house again and he stopped doing that.

Ray of Acceptance

After 10 days of hide n seek with my parents , the guy with whom I went away with called my parents and asked for money to send me back.

I didn't know all this , as my parents has good contacts they tried to trace the mobiles and found the place and took me back to my home

I  came back home but very stubborn and made sure that I'll not be humiliated because of my sexuality and I would not visit any doctors.

I started doing a small part time job and continued  college as well so that I can make people who told that I'm doing all this to get away from studies.

I cleared my 2 semesters exam once and was a sem topper the next year.

I completed my graduation and got placed in a reputed company as soon as I finished my Btech.

I was so happy and proud of myself.

One day My mom told me " WHATEVER YOU'RE , I GAVE BIRTH TO YOU AND YOU'LL BE MY SON"

These words boosted up my confidence and started getting close to my parents agin /;0

Coming Out

It was February 10th 2011 , I was crying sitting in my room thinking I will be all alone.

My mom suddenly came to me  and realized i was crying and asked me for the reason and I couldn't control and I told my Mom that I'm gay .

she didn't understand and then called my dad and I said the same.

Then My dad hugged and said " Its alright and don't worry we will go doctors and you can change"

I really wanted to change and be the perfect boy my parents wanted to be.

I went to many doctors and they tried changing me but nothing worked out.

Their questions to me were so difficult to answer and I really couldn't take that emotional trauma and started opposing my parents to go to hospital.

After a month my parents told about me to my uncles and then they started harassing me locked me in a room , removed my tight jeans and took my phone from me and they used foul language I felt  like dying at that moment.

I started hating my parents for dong this to me.

I took a phone from my friend and maintained it secretly and used to be in contact with Gay guys and Came across this guy who told he loved me and That time I just wanted someone to love me and make me feel better.

He used to talk to me daily and then one day we met for sometime and I went back home and my dad was upset as I was late and he used some harsh words and me being a sensitive person didn't want to stay at my home where I didn't have respect.

I called that guy and told that I'm going away from home and he said that he will take care of my future and ensured me having a respectful life.

I left home on April 7 2011 with 100 RS in pocket , a gold ring and lot of tears in my eyes.

New life

I understood that the thing I'm looking for is not very easy to find in this world.put my picture

After few weeks I found a guy who lives very near to my home and I met him.

He was the first guy I've met and He told me about PlanetRomeo .

I was so curious and as soon as I went home I created an account and I was surprised seeing so many Hot guys looking for sex , friends, dates and Relationships.

I didn't dare to put my picture and was also not very confident about my looks.

I was a  thin not so handsome , weird hairstyle guy  and top of it Braces on my Teeth.

I was not that hot gay boy everyone would like to date.

I used to read profiles on Planetromeo and just be quiet as I used to think that I will not be able to match their standards.

I met another guy who is as new as I was in the website , we liked each other and he is a bisexual and still he told he will be with me after he married also. I was ok with it and started seeing each other and later His dad passed away and we stopped talking with each other often as he became busy running his household works.

I met a friend whom I call family now through the website , I started talking with him and we used to meet everyday and I found another friend through him.

we 3 became so close and used to hangout very often.

We used to discuss our chats , dates.

I met a couple of people and had my first sex with a guy who wanted to be my husband.

I always miss that one person who can give me the attention and love me the way I am.

but all I got was that people who wants to fulfill their physical desires and I too thought it was better than having breakup until I found this guy.

He was a mutual friend and we started talking to each other and started liking.

He suddenly told he loved me and came to Hyderabad to study MBA.

I met him we had good time and thought he was the one I was looking for

He went back to his town and had sex with his friend and I couldn't forgive him and I broke up.

After this I decided not to get in to any relationship as I thought I'm not ready for it.

At that  time I met another guy who introduced me to a new gay world. told how cruel is this world, educated me about SEC 377 , How Bangalore guys are very cool


My Aim then was to graduate , get a job in Bangalore and shift here.

He became very close to me and took me to my first Gay party ever,

He made my hair , took off my glasses

And most of the guys whom I saw on the site are there in the party and everyone started giving me attention and then I realized that I'm Handsome as well and just have to groom a little bit.

Days passed away and got to know my cousin loved me and he wants to marry me but  I couldn't as my whole family might be shattered if something went wrong and it was too much to think for a 17 year kid.

First Love

I started chatting with this guy who is from another city and we clicked very fast.

He told me that he had a friend who is looking for a relationship and he would be a perfect match for you.

I started talking with this Bong guy who is miles away from me.

I started liking him and suddenly one day he told he loves me.

He used to call me honey , baby etc which were very new to me and I used to feel very good.

One month passed away and we became close , one day he suddenly started behaving weird and told its not going to work out and stopped talking to me.

I didn''t understand what I did and I didn't understand where I went wrong .

I gave him lot of love which he wanted  but he left me all alone

Exploring Myself

I came to Hyderabad for my further studies and started exploring world. Internet came in to the picture I started socializing on Orkut. I tried to hide my feelings and be the boy what my parents want me to be.

Suddenly one day I heard my classmates talking about a guy in a very derogatory way and calling him chakka , gay  etc.

I've never heard the term GAY anytime before in my life and I wanted to check what that meant and my search started on Google webpage. I read so many things about sex and sexuality through google and I realized I'm GAY.

I wanted to meet more people of same interest and also wants someone very close to heart.

I started searching for gay profiles in orkut. I created a fake account started talking with few and got to know that what I'm looking for is very difficult..

But I never lost hope because I thought I'm a good  boy and I deserve the best .

The search continued until I met this guy online...................

The Innocent Child

It all started with a thought seeing a guy from a distance and thought that he is handsome, Not even a second after that I just brushed away my thoughts thinking that I can't like a guy , My mom won't approve my love, I will be disowned , Everyone will laugh at me and pass on weird names .

I've tried to keep all these to myself and thought I am the only one like this in the whole world and cursed god a lot of times.

The confusion , Frustration , hatred towards my self was too much to handle at the age of 8 years.

I only used to play with my girl cousins at home. I never liked cricket or football.

My parents gave me everything I want and we being not so rich my dad gave all the comforts we required.

I was always lost in my own world , kissing a TV actor when ever he comes on Television , thinking that he will come to me and marry me and make him his spouse.

I was very innocent , I didn't know what sex was until my 10th standard.

I realized after a long that I was being molested by my elder cousin.

I didn't know what to do , whom to ask , I used to sit on my terrace and cry for hours  not understanding what to do.

I ran away from my classmates because everyone used to call me names because I'm Feminine and only one whom I can hug and sleep whenever I feel lonely and lost was my mom , but I've never had courage to tell what I feel and explain her what I'm worried about.

I've spent 18 years not knowing what I'm and why I'm DIFFERENT from others.................