My Letter

Hello My husband,

I know you don't like to read lengthy messages or anything but I'm sorry it's gonna be very lengthy but I want you to read this when ever u are free.

It's very sad to hear from a guy who said I made his life beautiful to listen that he lost his  smile because of me.

I'm becoming mad here, the words you said to me made my life upside down. I'm so sad ki I couldn't make you happy atleast for a day. When I'm in hyderabad I tried to make everything perfect and as I don't know to cook I asked v to bring food while coming and I asked  If you like pastries when you're in nagpur itself then I asked them to bring them. I asked my mum to make dosa for me n i bought them too.

I didn't take you any where in hyderabad because it was hot and I don't want you to suffer as you will only stay in AC and it will be problem for you.I took to u thr one evening and I don't know whether you liked it or not I'm very sorry tab bhi I took you to the place I liked but without knowing your taste. These are the little things I made in hyderabad for u.  Most of them were made by my frds and I'm blessed to have them

Next I came home today afternoon and I thought mai itna ganda insaan hu ki mai jo banda mere liye exams and kaam chodke hyderabad tak aaya unse bhi shikayat kiya per sach baat e hai ki mera jo kiya hua things are not complaints or something

I closed my eyes today after coming to home and reminded every little thing what I did and I'm writing you this mail.

This is not to cover up or not but exactly what happened

1. Me forgetting things at home :

                 i was so excited to come to meet you ki I was dreaming only to meet you and I Neva thought those things were very important for Me. Maine sab kuch ek bag me leke rakha last minute me my dad was all in hurry and I forgot that bag of mine.  This is my irresponsible behavior no :1

2. Me missing bus stop :

             I only heard station station waha pe and maine conductor ka suna nahi 

3.slapping you :

         It was never a slap according to me and I'm really sorry. When I was standing thr you came back se ek jat ke se you tried to hug me mujhe Dar laga and I didn't even notice ki I slapped you.

I respect more than myself how will slap my life??? Per I did I'm sorry this is my insensible behavior

4. My jeans :

             I Neva wanted to show my underwear to anyone mai Theek karta hua if it is loose bhi mai short pehenke bahar bhi nahi jaata hu.

I didn't intend to show it to anyone and us hotel pe bhi I sat properly so that it is not visible it is my insensible behavior

Please know this ki I'm also a decent one not really a cheap guy. I've my own morals in life

5. About hotel room :

        Firstly I asked you to book a hotel room with AC  because It will be difficult for you aswell waha pe I didn't look only for me.

I asked to change bed sheet because you get allergy soon as you said me so it's very unhygienic so I asked   him to change
      
     I asked you about washroom it's not a taunt baby I don't know mera expression ganda tha. And don't forget this I said I liked the room.

This is my insensible behavior

6. S:

   Jab s aaya I didn't tell I got bored in the room when he asked kya dekha I told ki we went to eat food n all bhi and he said am I unwell????

ya I was thoda sa unwell but that was not important to me and aapko bekar me pareshan hojata isliye I didn't tell you

Chaar dewar dekhke bore hogaya nahi bola mai I told chaar dewar dekhke sleepy sleepy n lazy hai bola

It Was not a taunt and this is my laziness and insensible behavior

7. Road trip

     Well baby I asked you we will cancel road trip and go the next day??? 

It's because you're also having some works at home and I'm also not so well, so I asked this.

You said no we have some other plans next day and I don't want to break ur plans

I was little uneasy since mrg but not unhappy

You know what all I did that day I was just upset ki you're giving nilay more importance than me

I was really happy and I said I liked that lake where we went

And I just said food was spicy and I was not complaining just telling it's taste and bahut Garmi hai na mujhe generally itna bhi Garmi hai to bhi I'll not sweat but us din hua I just said it was hot that was not a complaint

I just wanted to tell how I was feeling it's not complaining

I'm very sorry for that day and I know it's was the saturation point for your tolerance towards my behavior

When we went to meet  varun and went to temple I said it was nice thr and also Buddha temple bhi I said it was nice

When you showed my picture thr and said you miss that swaroop I thought ab se I should be that swaroop whom you love so much

And when we are going you spanked me and asked nilay  to spank me

I really didn't like it.
Saurabh never touched you on ur butt or cock right??? 

Then how could you allow him to do that

Phir se I couldn't get to normal that's what happened that day.

And my face expression are like that only subodh I don't know ki they have hurt you a lot but again it was never an intention to hurt u

This is my irresponsible and insensible behavior

8. Car door :

          When I opened the car door I suddenly got shocked I saw nilay and my senses were out and Im thinking how could I make u normal and mere dhyaan se gaya and this is the stupidest thing I've done and thank god you've seen that.

I can't do anything then If something would have happened and I'm sorry

This is my irresponsible behavior

E Pura hone ke baad se I tried so much to try to make you happy and I realised maine Kitna bade bade galti kiya

I prayed god ki you should be happy and normal but I couldn't make u happy being there for one more day it just pissed u off more

Last one my wallet

I never carry my wallet in my pants because I'm scared of loosing it and I always carry in hand or my bag when we checked out hotel I payed money and I was holding my wallet in hand and iske baad I kept on dashboard and I thought ki I'll take while getting my luggage and my luggage was taken my mo wood mera dhyaan Chala gaya

Maine sab galti kiya per kuch Aur reason tha karne me. Thodi din Hi karab hota hai those were one of my bad days

Tumhne mujhe bahut chances diya and I know how difficult will it be for you to trust me and give another chance.  I'll not ask for a chance because I'm so ashamed of all I've done but baby I was happy just seeing you.

I will be responsible from now on

Don't think about anything baby. If you still love me and want to have life with me I'll be happiest person

You said k that you Neva thought of breakup and wo sunke mai Bahut khush hua

Per kal aapne jo bola mujhe ab tak yaad hai ki you can never think about us as u used to think before 

Whatever decision you take I'm ready to do

But I can never forget you and can allow anyone to touch me atleast. If I will not be able to see you my entire life also I have got good memories I feel your touch, your videos, your pics are enough to me because a guy who came all along from so long without knowing me cannot be wrong :-)

I'll definitely look forward to see u again and make u happy atleast for a minute so that I don't die with regret that I couldn't make my husband happy atleast for a minute

You're my husband and you'll be forever

I love you so much

Yours and only yours,
Swaroop.